I am dating a pothead

I asked myself this the other day as I sat alone outside, checking my email over and over while smoking a joint.It was daytime, but it was Saturday, so I wasn’t being irresponsibly chill.“We used to talk about what kinds of animals we were,” says Slate. Slate didn’t read the coverage, but it was extremely kind, with most articles praising Slate for taking a chance on Evans, or noting that his coolness factor had jumped several notches because of his proximity to her. There was something beautiful, in a year marked by division, to think of these two opposites finding common ground. In her life, though, she’d already spent several months dealing with that loss and having to find a place to live, crashing with friends in Venice Beach in January. Maybe this is an indulgence, but just start over,’ ” she says. I have no idea how they ended up there.” As Slate gives me the tour of her place, Reggie trails her every move. There’s a thick concentration of “productive energy,” which is good, since she has a lot of work coming up, and a giant cloud of worry and overthinking, which seems to be dissipating. “If we didn’t get divorced, we wouldn’t be able to be friends and we wouldn’t be able to do our work. (Her elder sister, Abby, is a nurse-practitioner in Massachusetts, and Slate is convinced her middle-child need for attention is what nudged her toward showbiz.) Covering the top of her dresser are snapshots she hasn’t figured out what to do with, such as the one of her in a revealing tank top at Columbia University, where she went from high-school valedictorian to pothead almost instantly.“I watched so many times, it was unbelievable,” she says. “Yeah, I did it right.” Eventually, she found this new apartment and purged everything she owned except for a few clothes she loves, books, precious objects, and a velvet chair once belonging to her great-grandmother. By the sink are pot holders she made as a kid on a little loom and a drawing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg that Fleischer-Camp brought her as a housewarming gift. “This is me when I was a slutty virgin,” she explains.

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If these different elements that make you who you are happen to conflict, you will understandably feel conflicted and make decisions that reflect this turmoil.

You are sitting with your cell phone staring at a text message you wrote to your ex hours ago. You stare at your phone while your mind tells you to have more respect for yourself.

You logically understand that sending the message is not going to make the situation any better – nor will it heal your pain.

Then your heart enters the scene and overpowers your mind.

Your heart says, “Go ahead, send it, you will feel better…temporarily at least.” The scenario above represents one example of a misalignment between your heart and your mind that is a common occurrence after a break up.

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